The apparent rise in the number of carnivorous women (i.e. aggressive females) and their counterpart, herbivorous men, who are said to lead a passive existence ensconced in hobbies, has been frequently reported in the news media this year.
Society as a whole may have accepted this shift, but does that then mean that these newly invigorated ladies will happily welcome ambivalence on the part of men when it comes to bedroom activities? That does not appear to be the case, reports Shukan Post (Dec. 11), and porn starlet Maria Ozawa believes she can lend a hand, so to speak.
The tabloid explains that nowadays there is no shortage of unsatisfied women. In October, condom maker Durex made public survey results that indicated that only one in five married women in Japan were pleased with their love lives — a figure that is less than half that reported for China, the U.S. and France. “I am really bored because it is the same routine each time,” complains an office lady in her 20s. “My husband doesn’t say a word. So it is hard for me to understand if he is excited. It would be nice if he would say a few things when we do it.”
Enter actress Ozawa (figuratively, of course), who last month released the book “言葉責めセックス” (Tongue-Lashing Sex) — a frank instruction manual intended to convey to men just what women want.
The crux of Ozawa’s theory is that men need to initiate a somewhat humbling or embarrassing sexual environment through words that will build to an exciting and subsequently satisfying experience. “Typically, when one thinks about verbal exchanges during sex,” she writes, “it is hardcore stuff like, ‘Wow, it is so pink inside,’ or ‘Don’t you feel ashamed, you slut, for making my thing hard?’ But I want men to master a technique in which carefully chosen words can stimulate a woman’s brain and bring about a positive feeling.”
Observations and the proper use of adjectives are keys, says Ozawa, who is considered one of Japan’s premier AV actresses. She suggests that a man first kiss and caress his woman’s body while continuously noting any physical changes, such as her eyes getting watery, her skin becoming red and any moisture forming around her vaginal area. “For her breasts,” she continues, “if you fumble and suck on them, the nipples will gradually become erect. The basic rule is that you comment about this development and do not be shy about it.”
Ozawa doesn’t miss a thing, even suggesting that men pay close attention to — and make observations about, perhaps with sound effects — the brown area surrounding the nipple, known as the areola, for any expansion in the small bumps often found within. (A sidebar in the article dispels the supposedly long-held notion that a woman with black nipples constitutes a slut.) Areas that take on a sheen or specific taste sensations can as well be discussed for arousal purposes.
Restriction of freedom and mobility are also to be considered. Temporarily blinding a woman with a towel or tying her arms back, as in soft SM, are also effective techniques, she says. Example phrases for this stage include: “Tell me where I am touching you,” “Where should I touch you next?” and “You are wet even though I am not doing anything.”
But egos must remain in check at all times, the actress warns. For a man to demand that his partner perform various acts with her tongue, suggest that his manhood is rather large or comment that she is somewhat dark or particularly loose “down there” are certain turnoffs.
Shukan Post finds that Ozawa’s opinions have some scientific backing. Chemicals in the brain are triggered during rewarding experiences, believe experts. “Women are said to be more sensitive to words,” explains Dr. Kimihiro Yoneyama, “and they have more of the hormone dopamine, which will allow for sensory stimulation in the brain. This is perhaps one reason why words alone can make them satisfied.” (A.T.)
Source: “Ozawa Maria ga shijo shinan! ‘kotoba zeme sekkusu’ no okugi,” Shukan Post (Dec. 11, pages 54-55)