Japan’s Sato pulls off second straight win in world wank-a-thon

Nikkan Gendai May 14
Nikkan Gendai May 14
Let’s give Masanobu Sato a big hand, folks. For the second straight year Japan’s most accomplished wanker tugged his way to a record-setting victory in the 9th World Masturbate-a-Thon in San Francisco.

Nikkan Gendai (May 14) reports that on May 2, the 27-year-old Sato was able to beat off some 50 other opponents, keeping his obelisk at the perpendicular for a mind-boggling 9 hours and 58 minutes — thereby surpassing his own previous world record by 25 minutes.

Sato did not employ his palm but made use of the latest adult sex aid from his employer, Tenga Co. — which competition rules permit — known as the Eggu.

A set of a half dozen Eggu can be purchased online for about 3,000 yen.

Sato, not surprisingly, serves on Tenga’s board of directors.

“I’ve got a girlfriend, but even while she’s preparing supper I’ll be burping my worm,” gushed Sato, who adds that he has been a precocious pud-puller from the tender age of five. “At the tournament this time I was able to stay hard by fantasizing over the female interpreter at the event and what she would look like under her clothes.”

But surely staying stiff for just short of 10 straight hours is nothing short of remarkable. What, Nikkan Gendai’s reporter asks Sato, is his secret? Does he follow a special nutritional regimen, for example?

“I’m into sticky stuff, like natto (fermented soybeans), okra and mekabu (a type of sea vegetable),” Japan’s preeminent wanker winks. “The zinc supplements I take also seem to be helpful — makes my sperm denser.”

Well, Nikkan Gendai concludes, Sato’s success would seem to substantiate Edison’s famous observation about genius being 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. (K.S.)

Source: “Yaku jujikan bokki shitsuzuketa Nihonjin yushosha no sugao to shokuseikatsu” Nikkan Gendai (May 14, page 6)

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