The May issue of Ai no Taiken Special Deluxe is out by Takeshobo, and among the raunchy amateur contributions submitted by readers involves this account, as related in Shukan Bunshun (May 7).
“Quite some time ago when I was shacked up with the man who later became my former husband, I kept a cat. The two of us were just as horny as cats in heat, and we used to make love every evening; but we were careful to make sure we kept the cat out of the bedroom when we had sex.
“One night we forgot to fasten the door and the cat got in. We were really going at it and while my ex was on top of me and ramming away like crazy, the cat sauntered up behind him and began batting his scrotum with its paws.
“Then suddenly the cat bared its claws and scratched his testicles. My ex let loose with a loud scream, and went soft. And after that things were never the same again with us.”
“So all you cat lovers out there, do be careful,” she advises.
The writer’s name is given as “Neko no te mo kari-itai,” a fiendishly clever take on a familiar expression used when one is busy and short-handed, which means “I could even use a helping hand (or paw) from a cat,” but tweaked by the addition of one syllable to change karitai “want to borrow” into kari-itai — the itai meaning “ouch!”
Source: “Shukujo no Zasshi kara,” Shukan Bunshun (May 7, page 117)
Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.