TOKYO (TR) – A 2025 Cabinet Office survey highlighted that strict criteria set by women have become a major constraint on modern matchmaking.
This begs the question: Is a compromise in order? Female guests on a recent segment for ABEMA Prime sought to find out — and, as expected, many still seem far from meeting their prince charming.
A woman in her mid-30s who has been searching for a husband for over a decade revealed she has lowered her minimum income requirement for a prospective spouse from 10 million yen to 8 million yen, complaining that she cannot “compromise anymore.”
The woman, who goes by “Asuka,” is a company employee earning an annual salary of approximately 3 million yen. Despite her own modest income, she has spent the last 11 years on matchmaking apps aggressively pursuing only “high-spec” men.
Her non-negotiable requirements? Her partner must be handsome, highly paid and two to three years younger than her.
“I thought 10 million yen by his 40s would be fine, so I lowered the condition slightly,” Asuka stated. “To include ordinary company workers in a ‘trial slot,’ I dropped it to 8 million yen.”
Compromise
In the Cabinet Office’s Economic and Social Research Institute survey, 10,000 single people aged 25-49 were queried.
The results of the study revealed that strict criteria for women — including spouse’s income, education level and height — are hindrances to finding a partner (i.e. a probability in single digits). However, if women under 35 lower even one of their criteria, the possibility triples.
Is compromise necessary for marriage after all? Asuka is willing to give it a shot.
“Enduring a lot”
After meeting about 10 men under these new, “relaxed” conditions, the demanding bachelorette expressed feelings of hardship. “I think I compromised a bit,” Asuka lamented. “I think I’m really trying hard and enduring a lot.”
When asked why she stubbornly demands an 8-million-yen salary, Asuka was blunt about her intentions to avoid employment. “I don’t want to work. I want to be a full-time housewife,” she said. “People say you can be happy without 8 million yen, but then I wouldn’t be able to buy cosmetics, so that’s no good.”
She also refuses to budge on physical appearance and youth. “If he’s young, he’ll slowly age into an ojisan [middle-aged man],” she boasted. “You can’t change their age when you get married, so age is the only thing I won’t yield on.”
“Understand and respect”
On the other hand, Mina, a 29-year-old company employee with an annual income of approximately 7 million yen, prioritizes her partner’s educational background and idealizes men with science and engineering graduate degrees.
“I have a core principle of wanting to marry someone I can respect. A science and engineering graduate is the easiest to understand and respect. I myself wanted to pursue a science and engineering field in the past but gave up, so I’m attracted to them as a kind of reverse complex.”
Regarding height, she hopes for a guy standing at 175 centimeters, stating, “My height is exactly 160 centimeters, but I often think it’s better to have a little height difference when walking side-by-side, so I listed it as a condition.” However, she revealed, “The average height of Japanese men isn’t that high, so I’m searching without height restrictions on the matchmaking app.”
The reality check for such demands is severe. Mitsuyo Mishima, representative of the marriage agency Ganmi, pointed out some fundamental flaws.
“If you present such strict conditions, the other person will look at you and say, ‘Well, what about you?'” Mishima warned. “Marriage only happens if you match. It’s not just about your own desires; it requires the other person to actually want to marry you.”
