“But she was so nice!” It’s an oft-heard moan that inevitably follows a speaker’s being informed he tested positive for an STD.
For this reason, much has been made of masturbation as a healthy substitute. Assuming your own hands are clean, there’s very little likelihood of coming down with the clap. And you can’t beat the price.
Wanking has caught on in a big way, observes Nikkan Gendai (Aug. 7). Across the street from JR Akihabara station the 10-story Otona no Omocha (adult toy) Building brims with autoerotic gadgets, attracting throngs of customers of numerous nationalities and both sexes.
These days one can even find magazines with erotic articles about horny homo sapiens who seduce their silicone sweethearts.
Caution, however, is definitely warranted when satiating oneself with such devices. For one thing, cases have been documented of STDs spread via sex toys. In 1996, Harold Moi and Ellen Kleist of Greenland were summoned to Harvard University to receive an Ignoble Prize for a paper Moi had published in Genitourinary Medicine three years earlier titled “Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll.”
Dr. Yasuhiko Ogami of the Miyamotocho Chuo Shinryosho, a clinic in Kawasaki City specializing in STDs, tells Nikkan Gendai these days he’s been treating more patients for damage wreaked by dildos.
“Vibrators may be inserted into women’s vaginas before they are suitably receptive, which causes small wounds to the inner membrane,” says Ogami. “In many cases the injuries will heal by themselves, but if they engage in regular sex before it’s healed there’s a stronger chance they can contract gonorrhea or chlamydia.”
It seems that while condoms will usually protect the male wearer, touching the condom’s exterior just after handling sex toys like butt plugs, anal beads and similar devices can transfer germs that can cause grief for gals.
“What’s more, the colon is a maze of fine blood vessels that can easily be broken,” Ogami notes.
The most common problem Ogami-sensei treats related to sex toys are patients with gizmos still lodged in their orifices. This happens when using them either in tandem or while engaging in solitary solice.
“One woman arrived at the clinic stuffed with a vibrator as big around as a soft drink can,” he says. “The usual procedure for extraction is to relax the tendons around the sex organ, but in the worst cases surgery may be needed.”
And talk about having no fun on a shoestring — men who stimulate themselves by inserting such objects into their urethra are also asking for serious trouble, Ogami advises.
“As people attempt to extend their sex lives into their later years, some seek stronger types of stimulation,” he tells Nikkan Gendai readers. “But overdoing it with sex toys, depending on what materials they’re made of and how they are used, can lead to all kinds of troubles.”
So if you demand to do your diddling with doo-dads, the doc wisely warns, desist from doing anything so dopey it might damage the family jewels — or jewelry box. (K.S.)
Source: “Otona no omocha de naru byoki,” Nikkan Gendai (Aug. 7, page 12)
Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.