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When summer heats up, love in Japan is where you find it

Shukan Taishu Sep. 10
Shukan Taishu Sep. 10
All round the nation, couples are getting it on. And, reports Shukan Taishu (Sep. 10), many of them are choosing to do it in the most unlikely places.

“During the day, you see them smooching away, and then one the sun goes down, they’re humping away,” says a elderly female member of the cleanup crew in Tokyo’s Odaiba district, who adds, “I find lots of discarded condoms at spots beneath the trees.”

A private security guard at Osaka’s Nishikinohama, another seaside spot popular with romantic youngsters, tells the magazine that “From evening on, you can see cars in the parking lot swaying up and down on their springs. Never thought the kids would want to be doing it in a parking lot.”

Once upon a time, romantic youngsters who went all the way usually picked places that were out of the public view. But these days, the magazine reports, “aho-baka” (stupid) couples are apparently indifferent as to whether or not they perform before an audience.

“I see lots of couples fold down their beach parasols and get it on underneath,” says a lifeguard at Kujukuri Beach in Chiba. “Sometimes you can hear the girls complaining, ‘Ohhh no, you let sand get inside me.’ They’re crazy.”

In camping grounds along the slopes of Mt. Fuji in Shizuoka Prefecture, there’s plenty of action in tents.

“About three meters from where we were set up, you could distinctly hear them going at it,” complains an older male camper. “They were so loud it kept us from sleeping.”

Among some of the more outrageous spots where couples couldn’t control their carnal urges was a Buddhist temple in Hiroshima Prefecture.

The resident priest relates that he heard a noise behind the altar of the main hall. “I thought it might be rats, so I went to take a peek.”

What he found was a pair of partially disrobed youngsters in flagrante delicto.

“What are you doing!?” the priest exclaimed.

“They just kept going at it, while saying ‘Gomen, gomen (sorry).’ The man was a college boy, son of the owner of a nearby hardware shop. He’d come to perform 7th anniversary prayers for a deceased relative, but couldn’t control his urges.

“He’ll receive divine retribution for this.”

The above act was topped by a couple on an overseas flight to Vancouver.

“At the time we took off they were already hugging in their seats,” a cabin attendant relates. “Around the time we crossed the International Date Line, I noticed something funny going on. Another crew member said to me, ‘Eh? What are they up to?’ I could see the man had his hand moving around beneath the woman’s blanket.

“Then later, when the lights were turned off they had sneaked into a couple of vacant seats in the rear of the plane and the woman was sitting on the man’s lap.”

Apparently stimulated by the earlier fingering episode, the couple was determined to go all the way.

“I’ve seen similar activities on flights to Hawaii,” said the attendant.

Shukan Taishu saves its best story for last.

Mrs. R, a 45-year-old housewife, said their neighbor’s family pet is a large Husky, and to keep the mutt comfortable in the summer they have air conditioned its dog house.

“I saw their son, a 20-year-old student, and his girlfriend naked,” she blushes. “At first I thought the neighbor had bought a new pooch. Then I looked again. They were doing it…doggy style.”

It seems that the couple got the idea to put the house to more nefarious uses while the mother had taken Fido out for a walk.

“Can this awful heat be blamed, for burning off people’s sense of shame?” the magazine asks.

Source: “Aho baka kappuru-tachi no ‘dokodemo SEX’ harenchi gyojo,” Shukan Taishu (Sep. 10, page 176)