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Fruits in the Womb provide minimal daily requirement of Vitamin H

Shukan Bunshun May 6-13
Shukan Bunshun May 6-13

“When my boyfriend really gets going, he likes to work me over with a vibrator, but we sort of overdid it and it broke. But he still wanted to poke me with something, so he went looking in the kitchen.”

Thus begins a confidential coital anecdote, as chronicled in the April issue of women’s soft porn magazine Amour Urajoho, as featured in Shukan Bunshun (May 6-13).

“He came back from the kitchen with an assortment of vegetables and fruits,” she continues. “‘How about using this?’ he suggested, playfully brandishing an eggplant. ‘Or maybe a cucumber?’

“I was already worked up and ready for whatever he wanted to serve me,” she panted. “When he inserted a banana, it felt even better than I expected and my vaginal sphincter tightened, slicing the banana and leaving half inside me. We were on the verge of panic — removing it turned out to be a big job.

“It’s easy for this to happen with overripe bananas. So listen up, people — if you’re going to do it with bananas, be sure and use green ones,” she advises.

The punned byline takes the English world “tropical fruits” but tweaks toropikaru to toro-pikari, meaning “to lay bare (or express one’s sentiments) (toro) in a flash (pikari).”

Source: “Shukujo no zasshi kara,” Shukan Bunshun (May 6-13, page 113)