“I had a huge crush on an upperclassman at my university, but refrained from letting him know how I felt about him for three years. Then it came time for him to graduate, and on the evening of the send-off party, I planned my strategy well, challenging him to a drinking competition.”
Thus begins another tale of ribald romance, sourced from the May issue of amateur women’s soft porn mag Renai Tengoku, as reported in Shukan Bunshun (Sep. 15).
“About the time we broke off from the first round and headed for a karaoke shop, he was already reeling from the effects of the booze, so I hustled him away from the rest of our group and led him into a love hotel.”
“In the room I poured out my feelings to him, and he beamed, saying, ‘Aw, you’re so nice. Thanks.’
“Soon we were exchanging deep kisses and he started unbuttoning my suit. Not long afterwards he was banging away at me from behind, doggy style, causing me to twitch and spasm ecstatically.
“Through the condom’s thin layer of latex, I could feel him shuddering and spurting in me.”
For this week’s humorous byline, Bunshun’s peripatetic punster has come up with arukouru chuu dokku. In Japanese, the word for alcoholic is アルコール中毒 (arukouru chuudoku). By separating the second half into two words and changing doku to dokku, the meaning changes to “alcohol, a smooch (chuu), (and then) docking.” (W.W.)
Source: “Shukujo no zasshi kara,” Shukan Bunshun (Sept. 15, page 93)