Suzuki gets the ball rolling with accounts of an 80-year-old resident referred to only as “G.” The “G” could probably stand for horny old goat, which he certainly was.
Mr. G was only a temporary resident of the home — his family stashed him there while they took a much-needed vacation.
On the surface at least, G seemed courteous and cooperative. But it turned out, he was turned on by the sight of the female posterior, to the degree that he fantasized being mourned by mooners. To wit, he loved to jabber to anyone within hearing range, “My dream is to shuffle off this mortal coil surrounded by women’s butts.”
In his younger days as a salaryman G reputedly terrified the entire office, constantly grasping and groping gals’ gluteals.
At the rest home, when he attempted to indulge in his favorite fetish with one of the elderly female residents, she reacted by screaming, Dorobo! (thief) at the top of her lungs, causing G to beat a hasty retreat. Having apparently learned his lesson, he since refrained from further acts of dorsal depravity.
Another doddering denizen of the home was Mr. K, whose memory was seriously defective.
“One evening, I was on the night shift,” Suzuki relates. “I was making the rounds, and when I glanced into the room of Mrs. M, who was 78, I saw two heads poking out from under the blanket.
“‘Eh?! What’s going on in there?’ I said, startling them. Then I recognized K’s face. Not only were the two oldsters cuddling in bed, they were both bare-ass naked.
“It seems like K’s memory had completely pooped out at the moment of truth and he’d either forgotten the purpose of M’s invitation or simply dozed off. Upon awakening, however, he angrily bellowed at me, ‘Hey! Who got me naked like this?’
“Mrs. M. also had to make a pretense of showing her ire over K’s attempted trespass — although I never found out if she was more angry at K for sneaking into her room, or because she’d gone to the trouble of removing her nightie and nothing had come of it.” (K.S.)
Source: “‘Oshiri ni kakomarete shinu no ga yume,’ hachijissai no ‘dorobo’ jiken,” Nikkan Gendai (Mar. 8, page 7)
