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Fruits in the Womb provide minimal daily requirement of Vitamin H

Shukan Bunshun May 6-13
Shukan Bunshun May 6-13

“When my boyfriend really gets going, he likes to work me over with a vibrator, but we sort of overdid it and it broke. But he still wanted to poke me with something, so he went looking in the kitchen.”

Thus begins a confidential coital anecdote, as chronicled in the April issue of women’s soft porn magazine Amour Urajoho, as featured in Shukan Bunshun (May 6-13).

“He came back from the kitchen with an assortment of vegetables and fruits,” she continues. “‘How about using this?’ he suggested, playfully brandishing an eggplant. ‘Or maybe a cucumber?’

“I was already worked up and ready for whatever he wanted to serve me,” she panted. “When he inserted a banana, it felt even better than I expected and my vaginal sphincter tightened, slicing the banana and leaving half inside me. We were on the verge of panic — removing it turned out to be a big job.

“It’s easy for this to happen with overripe bananas. So listen up, people — if you’re going to do it with bananas, be sure and use green ones,” she advises.

The punned byline takes the English world “tropical fruits” but tweaks toropikaru to toro-pikari, meaning “to lay bare (or express one’s sentiments) (toro) in a flash (pikari).”

Source: “Shukujo no zasshi kara,” Shukan Bunshun (May 6-13, page 113)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.