Raunchy wife, flaky husband revel in kinky togetherness

“We’ve been married a long time, and it’s been quite a while since my husband and I engaged in any ‘night life,’” writes a woman who goes by the handle “Sha-mail.” (”Sha” is the character meaning to shoot — and also to ejaculate.)

Shukan Bunshun’s weekly column, “Shukujo no Zasshi kara” (from ladies’ magazines), features this gem, excerpted from the November issue of Ai no Taiken SpDx.

“One day, I was taking a shower,” she relates. “And while directing the shower head on myself down there, I started feeling really good. Suddenly, I sensed someone was behind me and when I turned around, I saw my husband, watching me masturbate! And what’s more, he wasn’t just watching, but was shooting my picture with a cell phone camera. Read more

Woman’s foreign ’sefure’ really hit the G-spot

“Five years ago, a Canadian student I ran into in a bar district came on to me,” says Asako, a 45-year-old woman who works at a corporate management job. “Communicating in my broken English and his broken Japanese, he told me, ‘You’re the nicest gal I’ve ever met.’ His house was near by, and he took me there.”

Up to that point, Asako had never cheated on her husband. But she had various concerns, and was looking for a diversion.

“I was ready to try something drastic,” she tells author Sanae Kameyama in Nikkan Gendai (Nov. 14). “I’d just turned 40 and had lost my self-confidence as a female. I hadn’t had sex with my hubby for a long time, and my body was tingling like crazy. Read more

People who live in glass houses…

The sad story of WaiWai’s demise, which made the news last summer, is by almost anyone’s judgment already a bit stale. But the December issue of Jitsuwa Taiho has just hit the stands, and there on page 186 is an unattributed article titled “Japanese are infuriated at sex in Japan as seen by foreigners!”

The story goes on to list and condemn some of the outrageous and “fabricated” stories on sex in Japan that were translated into English and sent “all over the world” via the Internet.

Midway down on the list of 18 articles deemed particularly offensive by the writer was this item: “Nihon no shufu wa minna, kogai no koin shawaa de baishun shite iru” (All Japanese housewives engage in prostitution in suburban coin-operated showers). Read more

Spotting a bigamist no easy task

Capt. Spaulding (Groucho Marx): [to Mrs. Rittenhouse and Mrs. Whitehead] “Let’s get married.”

Mrs. Whitehead: “All of us?”

Capt. Spaulding: “All of us.”

Mrs. Whitehead: “Why, that’s bigamy.”

Capt. Spaulding: “Yes, and it’s big of me too.”

From “Animal Crackers” (1930)

Stories about bigamy in Japan are few and far between, so when we caught the headline “Juukon otoko, kou minuke” (Here’s how to spot a bigamist”) in Nikkan Gendai (Oct. 31), we paused for a look-see. Read more

Swindlers extend ’send money’ flimflams to the sex business

“On the street in Ikebukuro I was accosted by a Chinese woman who said she’d spend 90 minutes with me in a hotel for 20,000 yen,” the man relates. “In the room while we were talking she slipped a knockout drop into my beer, and when I woke up I realized she’d made off with the 650,000-yen Rolex watch I’d bought with my bonus, plus 80,000 yen in my wallet and five credit cards.”

It’s not only foreigners who are engaging in outrageous ripoffs. Men who let down their guards are also being taken to the cleaners by native-born swindlers using a variation on the notorious “it’s me, send money” scheme.

A 32-year-old salaryman who availed himself of a “delivery health” (outcall sex service) in Kanagawa Prefecture found out the hard way that he had been targeted by professional swindlers using a woman as bait. Read more

Cops bust Osaka gay theater owner, male strippers

“Been there, done that” is a handy way of expressing that one has already experienced the topic under discussion.

Not too many individuals are wont to openly admit they have ever been to the now-defunct Umeda Rose theater in Osaka’s Kita Ward. And it’s easy to see why. Read more

Lassies in Lhasa dispense sudsy romps just like those back home

Tibet! Land of the Gods! Where you can take in the majestic Himalayas while getting high on the oxygen-depleted air. Have your picture taken astride a yak in front of the Dalai Lama’s palace. Haggle for curios in the marketplace. Eat tsampa and yak butter. Tour a lamasery, and spin prayer wheels while chanting mantras. Or, go unwind in a Japanese-style soapland.

Yep, reports Jitsuwa Knuckles magazine, the “roof of the world” is fully equipped to service men with an urge, for a correspondingly high price of 800 renminbi (about 12,000 Japanese yen). Read more

Police putting a new twist on the word ‘crackdown’

Establishments called panchira kissa (panty-viewing cafés) are being targeted by the authorities. These are coffee shops where male customers are invited, even encouraged, to peer up waitresses’ already short skirts. In some places, their efforts can be facilitated by use of fishing rods or fans to lift skirt hems, with the objective of viewing the goodies underneath.

The tabloid newspaper Nikkan Gendai (Oct. 4) reports that since a shop in Osaka was hit with a violation on morals charges last April, the police crackdown has been ongoing.

“For example, if you paid an extra fee, the waitress would perch on the bar counter and raise her knees to form a letter ‘M,’” says a regular customer of one establishment. “It was popular, but they had to stop it. Read more

How far do those room-service masseuses go?

You’re away from home on a business trip. It’s too early to sleep, so out of a mixture of boredom, curiosity, and horniness, you phone the front desk and summon a masseuse to your room. The prices are cheap enough, somewhere in the neighborhood of 4,000 yen or so for a 45-minute session.

Jitsuwa Taiho (October) attempts to provide some answers to the oft-asked question of how far those frowsy, middle-aged women who dispense massages at business hotels are willing to go with male customers.

At a hotel in Osaka, the reporter is getting a session from one named Masami. She’s 51, although she looks considerably younger. He’s not especially keen on older women, but under the pressure of her gentle fingers, he becomes aroused, to the degree that when he rolls over and faces the ceiling, his erection is unmistakable. Read more

Menopausal moms see sex as formula for rejuvenation

From April 1994, pixieish child actress Yumi Adachi played the role of homeless child Suzu Aizawa in the Nihon TV drama series “Ie Naki Ko.” The story was adapted from French author Hector Malot’s 1878 novel “Sans Famille” (Nobody’s Boy).

TV viewer ratings peaked at 37.2 percent, making it the season’s smash hit, and the feisty young character’s tagline — “Dojo suru nara, kane wo kure” (If you feel sorry for me, then give me money) — became one of the top buzzwords of 1994.

Yumi Adachi is now 27, a mother, and still pursuing her career in the entertainment world. Likewise for Adachi’s 51-year-old-mother, Yuri Adachi, who recently bared her full-frontal birthday suit in several glossy photo spreads in men’s weekly magazines, as advance publicity for a forthcoming coffee table book of nude shots. Read more

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