Condom conundrum: Tokyo Sports tracks down truth re release of Louis Vuitton latex

Rumors about the release of condoms from Louis Vuitton are circulating
Rumors about the release of condoms from Louis Vuitton are circulating

A quick question: What is brown, has a distinctive gold “LV” monogram embossed on its wrapper, and is certain to delight any fashion-conscious female recipient?

Give up?

How about a Louis Vuitton brand condom?

Rumors have been flying via Twitter that condoms bearing the fancy French letters from the House of Vuitton will be hitting the market soon, for the price of 68 U.S. dollars, or about 5,200 Japanese yen.

It’s believed that the main thrust of the market might be aimed toward China’s burgeoning class of wealthy entrepreneurs, who are too busy raking in money to divert time to raising children.

Some wags have been heard to remark they would not consider the price prohibitive if the snazzy sleeves were reusable.

The Web site of an unnamed designer reportedly revealed the new rubbers will be released on December 1, to coincide with World AIDS Day.

But alas, a spokesperson at the Japan subsidiary of the famous French designer house shot down the story.

“Louis Vuitton will not be offering such a product,” he told Tokyo Sports (Sept. 24), adding that the photo making the rounds is almost certainly someone’s idea of a naughty practical joke.

But who knows? The concept may spark latent demand for luxurious latex.

“It’s a great idea,” gushes a woman in her 20s. “You could pass them out as door prizes at parties, for instance. People would really go for them.”

A twenty-ish man also expressed interest, albeit for a somewhat different reason. “At 5,200 yen a pop, I’d want to get as much use out of it as I could. Just thinking about what it’s costing me might delay premature ejaculation.”

LV Japan, the writer concludes, ought to think twice before rejecting the idea out of hand. (K.S.)

Source: “Vuitton-sei kondomu, hontou ni hatsubai sarereru no?” Tokyo Sports (Sept. 24, page 27)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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