You’ve probably heard of crystal balls, but this is ridiculous.
“In Niigata there’s a woman who tells your fortune while she’s having sex with you.”
Oh come on, sighs Nikkan Gendai (Mar. 31), this time you’ve gotta be kidding, right?
Trust me, insists writer Kazuo Kajiyama. There’s actually a one-week wait for her services.
The attractive and slender 40-year-old woman, called “Nagiko” (a pseudonym), is said to perform her pervy prognostication from a house on the outskirts of Niigata City.
Upon arrival, Kajiyama was first requested to shower. The room where the sexy séance is performed smelled of an exotic floral scent.
“First, I’ll tell your fortune based on the nature of your ‘holy tree,'” she told him, grabbing his male root by the root and fondling it until the trunk went from horizontal to perpendicular.
“Mmmmm, yes. A splendid holy tree specimen,” she told him, manually titillating his testicles and glans penis. “You seem to be brimming with potency,” she observed approvingly.
Her sage advice was that he should seek the friendship of a girl working as a caretaker in a nursing home or in a pet shop.
Peeling off her black body stocking to reveal a D-cup bosom, she beckoned to him, saying “Now it’s time for us to have sex and find out what the fates have in store for you.”
“Please lick my ‘Goddess Kannon,'” she requested, lying on her back and parting her legs. He obliged.
“Hmmm,” she observed, while fondling her own nipples. “You seem to be a bit on the hasty side. If you slow down and tease it, your work-related situation will improve.”
When he shifted to manual fingering of her femininity, she remarked, “You’re a bit rough, perhaps somewhat on the sadistic side…”
She then invited him to slip into the saddle and ride her bareback, since use of a condom would diminish her ability to perceive his spiritual power.
As Kajiyama followed Nagiko’s stream of verbal instructions to vary the intensity and tempo of his thrusts, the two gasped and moaned to a hot, sweaty orgasm.
“Thank you,” she said, still out of breath. “I will hereby accept your 20,000-yen donation.”
“That whole fortune-telling shtick seemed on the phony side,” Kajiyama concludes, “But hell, I got a satisfying bonk from a nice lady for 20,000 yen, so who’s complaining?” (K.S.)
Source: “Uranai sekkusu de unki josho,” Nikkan Gendai (Mar. 31, page 22)
Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.